I'm on nutrition program. It dictates, today, a half cup of cereal, three quarters of a cup of 1% milk, a dribble of olive oil and some cheese. Three ounces' worth. I enjoy this program, but it's hard to eat three ounces of cheese all at once. Maybe I should melt it.

I'm grouchy today. I just want to hide in bed and nurse my grouch till it goes away somewhere, but that's a luxury I don't really have with kids. I always fel guilty if I go to bed and stay there too late. Is that something I should get over?

We saw The Dark Knight last night. It was the best Batman movie ever. Heath Ledger was unreal. Which makes his tragedy even worse. That movie is still with me. And it was Batman, for crying out loud.

So let's write a paragraph that's longer than a few sentences. Lord. Why am I blanking? You know, we went to Davenport again for summer vacation this year. It was amazing. As soon as I was there, I remembered the headspace I used to be in. I remembered writing all the time. I remembered that feeling of belonging. It made me want to hang diapers on the line to dry. I remembered being hot. I remember feeling released when we all went to the park, although too many times I was tired and stressed... but it was still a release. I remembered how I was finally getting around to loving myself and dancing and making my way into the community. Another year or so and I would have known newspaper editors, lounge owners ,political figures. Did I only see the big picture this last year? I think so. So maybe where I am this year is a good thing. Nonetheless, walking through the locust trees and seeing my boys climb and hearing the cicadas made me feel at home in my own skin. I do miss it a lot.

And it made me want to write. I guess there's a quietness there when there are no other purposes, duties, assignments, expectations pulling at you. I remember church and the friends we had and the gorgeous farmer's market, the seasons... already it's changing here. It cooled off a lot today and I fear my tan is on its way out.  Would I feel the same way about here as I do about Davenport if I were ever to leave?

Mmm. Where's that bed? I finished my cheese. I just want to sleep now.